Making better decisions starts by rejecting the idea that humans are normally fully in control of all actions at all times. The reality is that we are constantly dancing between conditioned behavior and willed agency while making decisions, and we are only conscious of so many of the decisions being made.
There is a 4 quadrant decision matrix that has behavior - agency on one axis and conscious - subconscious on the other. Using this matrix, we can better assess what's truly dominating our decision making in any given moment.
Instead of using willed agency constantly to act a specific way, we can recondition our behaviors to be acceptable enough to carry our existence without constant agency. Once we free ourselves from the "must be in control" mindset, we can reserve our agency for making big changes at key leverage points- whether in our own behavior or in whatever external systems or people we're interacting with.
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